About Me

photo credit Rachel Lacy

Welcome to my little blog! Thanks for visiting. My name is Kristina and I like to write. I like to talk too, but I'm kind of an introvert so I'm better at listening than storytelling. So here's my place to tell stories and share things I've learned; as the oldest sister in my family, I sometimes wished for an older sister who would have guided me.

I've lived in California, Nevada, Utah, Idaho, Colorado and Texas. During college I also lived near Guangzhou, China and in Asuncion, Paraguay. My husband and I lived in Utah County for sixteen years and had our four children there. In 2018 we moved to Texas and my youngest is already learning southern manners like, "Yes ma'am." I'm sure she'll claim Texas as her home state.

I started this blog in 2017 because I have two younger sisters and dozens of friends who may travel the same roads I've already walked, and I wanted a way to share some of my journey with them. (see Happy Birthday Little Blog.) For example, my last baby is slightly older than my sister's first baby. Where my mommy journey is filled with "lasts," (as in, this is the last kid I have to potty train!) my sister's journey is filled with "firsts" (first baby teeth, first steps, etc...). When both of these kiddos were two, I wrote this post:  So you have a two year old? This blog is my attempt to pass along what I'm learning on my journey through motherhood and marriage.

I majored in psychology and while I'm not a real therapist, my life has definitely been better for what I learned in college. I've learned some pretty serious life lessons in the years since graduation, one of the most important being to be okay with progress instead of perfection. For more on that see here:  Work in Progress or church music where I talk about facing my own demons.

It hasn't been too long since I left my thirties behind! For more about that milestone, check this post:  Turning Forty. I've concluded that every grey hair on my head is a reflection of wisdom.

Last but certainly not least, my faith and my religion is a huge part of my life. As you read some of the experiences I'm sharing, you might realize that I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I love my church and am so glad to be part of it.

So why write a blog? When Virginia H. Pearce submitted her mother's stories in a book called, Glimpses into the Life and Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley, she explained it really well in the introduction: "This book is not a recipe for others to follow, but just one more example of the gospel in action in the life of a fellow sojourner... And to the final question, "Why publish it?" I respond with what I told Mother, that the gathering and editing of the material had somehow changed me for the better." Her words sum up my thoughts. I hope to share notes with my sisters, neighbors and friends. Often writing and thinking on deep issues is transformative for me personally, and if this provides one more example of faith that resonates with you, then I'm glad. Thanks for visiting!

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2021 Christmas Card

December 2021 Dear Friends and Family, We love you and and miss y'all that are far away in WA and UT and other places!! This year we skipped our tradition of sending a Thanksgiving card and opted for a virtual Christmas card instead. It saved a ton of stamps and envelopes, but I definitely miss the glitter and sparkle. We hope you can feel our love even through a simple email or blog post. One tradition we couldn't skip was our gratitude tree, where the little leaves are a list of blessings. We are so thankful for God's goodness and mercy every day. Here's the highlight reel: Cade graduated, made lots of Domino's pizza, read probably a thousand books, and is currently living in Provo, UT as a full-time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He's heading to Helsinki, Finland in January. We are so proud of him and his hard work, we miss him but are excited for his opportunity to learn and serve. Shad spent a zillion hours with Marcus Ban

Love

"How are you feeling about your son leaving soon?" has been my favorite question lately. My answer is kinda mixed. During July and August I was surprised and excited. Then on September 14 he flew to and from San Francisco by himself for a day. The purpose was a quick visit to the Finnish consulate for a visa. He had fantastic instructions to get from the airport to the BART to the consulate, but waiting for the interview took longer than planned. Leaving the consulate he had less than an hour until his flight was supposed to take off. That included a 32 minute tram ride, printing a boarding pass, airport security, etc. In all honesty, he should have missed that flight home. But he didn't. Call it a miracle or a test of faith, or whatever you want to call it. But for my boy who loves to be punctual, boarding a flight 7 minutes before take-off was pretty intense. Long story short, I think we all realized a few things that day. There are so.many.details I can't control,

Shoplifting: Tic Tacs at Target

You know when you're at the store and one of your kids asks you to buy stuff? Then they ask again and again and again and again? My reply is usually something like, 'No, but thanks for asking.' And if they ask again then the reply goes something like, 'If you ask again, the answer will be no for like a week.' OR, "If you ask again, I'll take away your favorite toy," OR "If you ask me one more time, __________." Think of a punishment you will actually do! You can't make an empty threat here. If you don't have the energy to see it through, then just say yes. My older kids will often comment on how their younger sister gets a ton of stuff or privileges. If I'm tired and don't have the energy to win a battle, it's much better to JUST SAY YES the first time. That way, when I say NO on something, it carries more weight. So I explain to the older kids that they've already run me ragged and I no longer have the patience or st

Companions - Notes on Home MTC

November 18, 2021 Most people know that missionaries run around in pairs. Some of my neighbors have seen this version of a companionship lately. Let me explain. During Covid, the church did a pivot and changed the missionary training experience from in-person to virtual. During this process they realized there were a few cool benefits that were worth continuing even after the pandemic. So the new version of missionary training begins at home with an Elder or Sister doing full-time training with a companion online. Then they transition to in person after a few weeks. My oldest son began on November 8 with training at home. When they are in class or working together, they are meeting and making friends with other missionaries in their district. My son's cohort has four young women and four other young men, for a total of nine kids all going to Finland in January. BUT when they're not actively working or studying together, I'm his companion . All of the places I'd no

One More Syllable

It's been a year. One year ago we moved to Texas. One year ago I started asking people to call me Kristina instead of Kristy, thus adding one more syllable to my name. August is our anniversary. Last year we celebrated that anniversary by adding a cool new memory. That day we drove up to our house, found the keys and walked inside with the kids. We spent the night in our house without any stuff. Isn't it funny how places seem bigger when they're unfurnished? And that pool in the backyard? We knew nothing about pools and maintenance but just jumped in carefree. It was great. It was like being in a hotel but with room for everybody to spread out. Maybe it's time to explain the name change. For me, I had decided before moving to Texas that I wanted to quit using Kristy as my nickname. It served me well for many years and I still like it, but it's mainly for simplicity. When I'd first meet somebody, maybe I'd mumble or maybe I don't speak clearly enou

The Invisible Woman

Today I'm thinking about my mom. She spent a lot of years building and serving and lifting. She poured love and time and energy into her children, in a never-ending pattern. She did a hundred things that we still haven't noticed. I wonder if there's a coming of age that happens for a young mom, when she begins to realize how much work it is to BE a mom. Then maybe about two dozen years into this parenting thing, she begins to see more stuff she missed. Then another realization comes when her oldest is almost grown. I'm still learning to see my mom and appreciate her as a person. But how can you see somebody who's been invisible? This morning I was talking with a good friend, another mom like me. She's younger and in a different season of mothering, yet we both can relate to sometimes feeling lonely. Sometimes we need evidence of progress, or at least a friendly word from a girlfriend. Maybe sometimes we just need somebody to notice and say thanks. Years ago I h

Skeletons

My favorite quirk about my neighborhood is this: at Halloween all the skeletons come out of the closets. This one made me laugh out loud the other day. I was mad about something, it might have been the shenanigans going on around me or in my kids' schools or I might have been miffed about all the &*&%$ going on in the Middle East or South America or whatever. But when I drove past this skeleton, it just illustrated my current view of humanity. "Got my butt in a jam," with a skeleton literally stuck in a trashcan. I love my neighbors for their creativity, for loving the kids and for wanting to give them a fun Halloween season. I love the empty nesters for storing all this crap all year long, so that during October we can drive past and see something that makes us smile. Some of my favorites this year: I think that they're trying to illustrate that a good kegger might lead to trouble. ;) The skeleton wedding makes me smile almost as much as that gorgeous blue

Mercy

Let's start with a fun list of opposites, skipping the usual favorites like hot and cold, and day and night. Instead here's a handful of spectacular rivalries. Adobe and Apple Young Living and DoTerra McDonald's and Burger King Pepsi and Coke BYU and Utah TX Longhorns and OU Mercy and Justice Today my thoughts are on justice. Recently I took my girls to the dentist. My youngest doesn't love to brush or floss her teeth, she loves sugar, and hadn't been to the dentist in almost two years. After hearing good news that went something like, "Yay, good job everything is looking good..." Five minutes later I learned that there's six cavities with two more teeth that need silver caps and it will cost over $800 to fix everything. I was so miffed! Why get my hopes up before looking at an x-ray, and send them crashing down to earth after seeing the details more clearly? When I die and go to heaven, I hope justice is Nothing like what I just experienced: I thoug

A church hymn I hated for five years

Hymn #223 Have I Done Any Good? 1. Have I done any good in the world today? Have I helped anyone in need? Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad? If not, I have failed indeed. Has anyone's burden been lighter today Because I was willing to share? Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way? When they needed my help was I there? [Chorus] Then wake up and do something more Than dream of your mansion above. Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure, A blessing of duty and love. 2. There are chances for work all around just now, Opportunities right in our way. Do not let them pass by, saying, "Sometime I'll try," But go and do something today. 'Tis noble of man to work and to give; Love's labor has merit alone. Only he who does something helps others to live. To God each good work will be known. Text and music: Will L. Thompson, 1847-1909, alt. James 1:22, 27 Alma 9:28

Church music, my favorite song by Pink, and thoughts from a recovering perfectionist

A song I've loved for years is, "You are perfect," by Pink, because it rings true for me: I've chased down all my demons. Or at least most of them. I've played the organ in Sacrament meeting dozens of times. Occasionally there's a distinguished visitor or an important somebody sitting on the stand (literally two feet from my organ bench). Sometimes it makes me nervous, but usually not too bad. The time that freaked me out the most was when there was music professor in the congregation. I remember having a little meltdown before church that day. I told the Bishop, "I got a D in organ when I was in school..." and in his good natured, humorous way, he said, "We won't tell him." Still, my anxiety was real. I was worried about the songs, I was worried about the singing, I was worried about a lot of stuff. Mainly, I was worried that I wasn't good enough and that somehow that music professor would agree. If you

Notes for my sister