About Me

photo credit Rachel Lacy

Welcome to my little blog! Thanks for visiting. My name is Kristina and I like to write. I like to talk too, but I'm kind of an introvert so I'm better at listening than storytelling. So here's my place to tell stories and share things I've learned; as the oldest sister in my family, I sometimes wished for an older sister who would have guided me.

I've lived in California, Nevada, Utah, Idaho, Colorado and Texas. During college I also lived near Guangzhou, China and in Asuncion, Paraguay. My husband and I lived in Utah County for sixteen years and had our four children there. In 2018 we moved to Texas and my youngest is already learning southern manners like, "Yes ma'am." I'm sure she'll claim Texas as her home state.

I started this blog in 2017 because I have two younger sisters and dozens of friends who may travel the same roads I've already walked, and I wanted a way to share some of my journey with them. (see Happy Birthday Little Blog.) For example, my last baby is slightly older than my sister's first baby. Where my mommy journey is filled with "lasts," (as in, this is the last kid I have to potty train!) my sister's journey is filled with "firsts" (first baby teeth, first steps, etc...). When both of these kiddos were two, I wrote this post:  So you have a two year old? This blog is my attempt to pass along what I'm learning on my journey through motherhood and marriage.

I majored in psychology and while I'm not a real therapist, my life has definitely been better for what I learned in college. I've learned some pretty serious life lessons in the years since graduation, one of the most important being to be okay with progress instead of perfection. For more on that see here:  Work in Progress or church music where I talk about facing my own demons.

It hasn't been too long since I left my thirties behind! For more about that milestone, check this post:  Turning Forty. I've concluded that every grey hair on my head is a reflection of wisdom.

Last but certainly not least, my faith and my religion is a huge part of my life. As you read some of the experiences I'm sharing, you might realize that I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I love my church and am so glad to be part of it.

So why write a blog? When Virginia H. Pearce submitted her mother's stories in a book called, Glimpses into the Life and Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley, she explained it really well in the introduction: "This book is not a recipe for others to follow, but just one more example of the gospel in action in the life of a fellow sojourner... And to the final question, "Why publish it?" I respond with what I told Mother, that the gathering and editing of the material had somehow changed me for the better." Her words sum up my thoughts. I hope to share notes with my sisters, neighbors and friends. Often writing and thinking on deep issues is transformative for me personally, and if this provides one more example of faith that resonates with you, then I'm glad. Thanks for visiting!

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How Controlling Are You?

Life is like Mario Kart. In the early levels, you're driving through Moo Moo Meadows and the grass is green and there's cows and fields and it's lovely. There's an occasional banana peel that gets tossed in the path, and sometimes the cows walk in the road so you try not to hit them. But overall the driving is pretty mellow. Then later after you've unlocked other levels, there's stuff like Bowser's Castle. It's a maze with lava on both sides of the path, there's fire and brimstone all around, there's stone columns that try to smash you at random intervals. Just to know where to go and how to steer and stay on the path is complicated. Some stages of life are like Moo Moo Meadows. The details are easy-peasy and you just keep moving right along. And then there are years like Bowser's Castle where it's pretty intense and you pray a lot because the fire around you is pretty hot and you're trying not to fall in the lava pit. During years

Shoplifting: Tic Tacs at Target

You know when you're at the store and one of your kids asks you to buy stuff? Then they ask again and again and again and again? My reply is usually something like, 'No, but thanks for asking.' And if they ask again then the reply goes something like, 'If you ask again, the answer will be no for like a week.' OR, "If you ask again, I'll take away your favorite toy," OR "If you ask me one more time, __________." Think of a punishment you will actually do! You can't make an empty threat here. If you don't have the energy to see it through, then just say yes. My older kids will often comment on how their younger sister gets a ton of stuff or privileges. If I'm tired and don't have the energy to win a battle, it's much better to JUST SAY YES the first time. That way, when I say NO on something, it carries more weight. So I explain to the older kids that they've already run me ragged and I no longer have the patience or st

2021 Christmas Card

December 2021 Dear Friends and Family, We love you and and miss y'all that are far away in WA and UT and other places!! This year we skipped our tradition of sending a Thanksgiving card and opted for a virtual Christmas card instead. It saved a ton of stamps and envelopes, but I definitely miss the glitter and sparkle. We hope you can feel our love even through a simple email or blog post. One tradition we couldn't skip was our gratitude tree, where the little leaves are a list of blessings. We are so thankful for God's goodness and mercy every day. Here's the highlight reel: Cade graduated, made lots of Domino's pizza, read probably a thousand books, and is currently living in Provo, UT as a full-time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He's heading to Helsinki, Finland in January. We are so proud of him and his hard work, we miss him but are excited for his opportunity to learn and serve. Shad spent a zillion hours with Marcus Ban

Hair and random thoughts from a Brunette

Recently I've thought quite seriously about doing this to my hair. It might be so fun to have purple/blue highlights! I never dyed my hair in high school or college. Then when I was 37 the first few grey hairs appeared, ironically enough while I was pregnant. I've spent the last handful of years adding lots of blonde highlights. Now my hair has a respectable amount of silver. It's kind of annoying. I'm learning to say farewell to being a brunette, because that young girl with the dark hair has grown up. Last month for Christmas, one of my favorite gifts that I GAVE to my little daughter was kinda fun. I spent like 20+ minutes at Target deliberating on which Barbies to buy. Finally I chose this group of friends for their amazing variety in hair!! And I love each for different reasons. The dogwalking blonde is fun because my daughter really wishes we had a dog. The other three have accessories to be an astronomer, a teacher, etc. Ultimately, each Barbie is different fro

Love

"How are you feeling about your son leaving soon?" has been my favorite question lately. My answer is kinda mixed. During July and August I was surprised and excited. Then on September 14 he flew to and from San Francisco by himself for a day. The purpose was a quick visit to the Finnish consulate for a visa. He had fantastic instructions to get from the airport to the BART to the consulate, but waiting for the interview took longer than planned. Leaving the consulate he had less than an hour until his flight was supposed to take off. That included a 32 minute tram ride, printing a boarding pass, airport security, etc. In all honesty, he should have missed that flight home. But he didn't. Call it a miracle or a test of faith, or whatever you want to call it. But for my boy who loves to be punctual, boarding a flight 7 minutes before take-off was pretty intense. Long story short, I think we all realized a few things that day. There are so.many.details I can't control,

My Day with Kay

In order to set the stage for this story, first you must understand the setting and the two central characters. Ephrata, my father-in-law and me. Ephrata is a train town, and the Grant county seat since it's been there the longest. It's not like Seattle and not like Spokane; the exact center of Washington state is dry and dusty and reminds me of Nevada with two key substitutions: delete the casinos and add in the farmland. Ever since they dammed the Columbia River, irrigation makes for great farmland. They grow apples and potatoes, asparagus and corn, pears and grapes. This is the setting where my husband was raised. My father in law was raised in a large family in southeast Idaho, not too far from Idaho Falls, Yellowstone and Grand Teton. He's one of 13 children. There are some overarching results of his humble childhood. A person must never waste food. A person must never overspend. A humorous remark is worth its weight in gold. Once you understand these operating pro

The Invisible Woman

Today I'm thinking about my mom. She spent a lot of years building and serving and lifting. She poured love and time and energy into her children, in a never-ending pattern. She did a hundred things that we still haven't noticed. I wonder if there's a coming of age that happens for a young mom, when she begins to realize how much work it is to BE a mom. Then maybe about two dozen years into this parenting thing, she begins to see more stuff she missed. Then another realization comes when her oldest is almost grown. I'm still learning to see my mom and appreciate her as a person. But how can you see somebody who's been invisible? This morning I was talking with a good friend, another mom like me. She's younger and in a different season of mothering, yet we both can relate to sometimes feeling lonely. Sometimes we need evidence of progress, or at least a friendly word from a girlfriend. Maybe sometimes we just need somebody to notice and say thanks. Years ago I h

Happy Birthday Little Blog

Three years ago in the fall, I felt like it was time to start writing a blog. My reasons for doing so are deeply meaningful to me, so I'm taking a risk to share them publicly. As much as I like writing, I'm not an expert. There's a lot of editing that goes on behind the scenes, whether I'm asking Norm to look for holes in my logic, or asking some of my writer friends to proof a post. I still owe my friend S cookies because she's an excellent editor, and I needed help with something recently and I'm pretty sure I offered baked goods in exchange. I need to take a critical writing class, a photography class, and a computer class. I'm not making any money here. All I'm doing is tossing my stuff out to the internet, and hoping that my story is helpful or useful or at least entertaining. I have two biological sisters, four sisters-in-law, and a whole bunch of sisters from Relief Society at my church. There are wonderful friends from BSF on Thursdays. I have n

No Spoons

You know when you want to eat cereal for breakfast and there's no spoons? Today's deep thoughts are a twist on that idea. Months ago I was talking with my sister about school and how she was ready to drop a class. She'd been super sick and was dealing with a lot of tricky stuff, so she emailed her professor and said, "I'm all out of spoons." Amazingly, this was a psych class + the professor really wanted her to pass + worked with her to finish a bunch of assignments = it wasn't necessary to drop the class. But the metaphor for spoons stuck in my brain. When a person says, "I have no spoons for this," it means that they're done. Their energy is gone and their capacity to handle any more details is gone. Let's rewind a bit, shall we? Spoon Theory began when a woman with chronic illness was trying to describe her life to a friend in perfect health. In a nutshell, we each begin the day with a finite amount of energy. A person who is dealing

New to Utah

New to Utah: notes for Kim or anybody who's moved from out of state Hi Kim, Remember last year when we talked about how somebody should write a post with all the insider information? Here you go - a bunch of random notes about Utah. Food ideas: Kneaders is a local bakery. They're closed on Sundays, and every Saturday night starting at 8pm, almost the entire case of baked goods goes down to 50% off. It's like Christmas but better. The carrot cake is great, also the fruit tart... Krispy Kreme is also a win. When your kids get a good report card, take a copy and they'll stamp it and give you 6 free glazed donuts per kid. That means with my three big kids, we're walking away with 18. So delicious. Also when you get there, take at least 20 minutes to watch the donuts rising and dropping in the oil. That's a really fun field trip. Farm stands are great during the summer. Look for the ones that are owned locally, right on the orchard. (The Harward

Notes for my sister