Magic in the Fire

My body responds to light. It's almost annoying to my husband, because I like leaving ALL the lights on in the house. I'm getting better at that. Sometimes I turn off the light in the laundry room or the pantry. ;) During the years when we lived in Utah, each winter my body would begin a "hibernation" phase where I'd sleep more, eat more, and basically the fire in me kinda burns less brightly. If you compare this cycle to a campfire, in the summer the fire burns hotter, and then through the winter it's like glowing embers. The other day when A and I were drawing a picture, I suggested we draw a fire. And she added the following blue "magic" to the flames. When we used to go camping a lot, see here (Tinney Flat) or here (the cabin) or here (scoutmaster), N would bring awesome pinecones like these to throw into the fire. Then you say a silly rhyme or something about looking up at the stars (to distract the kids so they can't see you add it to the fire). All of a sudden there's magic in the fire.

I wish I had thought of that. What a cool thing, that my sweet little girl has memories of magical campfires. But let's think about the metaphor for a minute. If there are seasons of my life where the fire is burning super hot, maybe I need to pause and search for the miracles. Most of us know the story of the silversmith and how he's polishing and molding metal, and he's watching it every step of the way. But I'd never thought of it in quite this way. During the seasons of fire in my life, where the learning curve is steep and the pain is real, I need to keep my eye on the magic: the tender mercies or holy echoes or silver lining. Whatever word you use to describe God's hand working in your life, that's the magic in the campfire.

These are the mental health challenges I've written about, especially related to light:

Bipolar I alluded to it in this post about gifts and thorns. Yes, I have a mild version where sometimes in a slump (for months at at a time) and sometimes kinda hyper active (usually for about three months).

Manic phase. (still working on a post with tips for staying grounded)

Rainbows Bright colors as a coping mechanism for darkness

SAD seasonal affective disorder, that's what I was talking about with the campfire

Sunshine Tips to help with depression

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Leaving Utah

Norm and I are at a crossroads. It's time for our family to take the next step. But first a quick trip down memory lane. We first came to Utah sixteen years ago. We were young and cute and pregnant with baby #1. Norm had been accepted as a student. I had a lot of fun during my first two years of college, and I imagine the admissions board looked at my transcript and said something like, "yeah right!" (More details about getting a D in organ lessons over here .) So my first BYU application was rejected. They let me attend classes as a visiting student, and one day an admissions officer called my phone. It was a landline, and we were living in BYU married student housing. He had two questions for me: Is your husband a full time student? Yes. And you live on campus? Yes. End of interview. A few days later I got my acceptance letter. We finally graduated together in 2004. We bought our first home in Lehi, not too far from Willow Creek middle schoo

believe

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2021 Christmas Card

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One More Syllable

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It doesn't matter where you live, but how...

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You know how life gets kinda messy sometimes? My version of messy looks like this: Four kids including a teenager learning to drive; a kindergartner learning to get herself ready in the morning; a senior learning about adulting; a middle schooler learning to ride her bike to electives every other day, a mortgage husband's career VIRTUAL PLUS church service pandemic, civil unrest, election year my own personal need for friends and connection even when my schedule looks like a revolving door Our big anniversary was last month and we were lucky enough to celebrate together this past weekend. We managed to sneak away for 24 hours. First I need to give credit where credit is due. There was a very generous friend who volunteered to parent the children during our 'Nelson marriage offsite.' And there was a generous benefactor who donated Marriott points to spring for the fancy room. I won't mention either party by name, but thanks to their generosity we had a great time. I'

Meek Warhorse

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How Controlling Are You?

Life is like Mario Kart. In the early levels, you're driving through Moo Moo Meadows and the grass is green and there's cows and fields and it's lovely. There's an occasional banana peel that gets tossed in the path, and sometimes the cows walk in the road so you try not to hit them. But overall the driving is pretty mellow. Then later after you've unlocked other levels, there's stuff like Bowser's Castle. It's a maze with lava on both sides of the path, there's fire and brimstone all around, there's stone columns that try to smash you at random intervals. Just to know where to go and how to steer and stay on the path is complicated. Some stages of life are like Moo Moo Meadows. The details are easy-peasy and you just keep moving right along. And then there are years like Bowser's Castle where it's pretty intense and you pray a lot because the fire around you is pretty hot and you're trying not to fall in the lava pit. During years

Shoplifting: Tic Tacs at Target

You know when you're at the store and one of your kids asks you to buy stuff? Then they ask again and again and again and again? My reply is usually something like, 'No, but thanks for asking.' And if they ask again then the reply goes something like, 'If you ask again, the answer will be no for like a week.' OR, "If you ask again, I'll take away your favorite toy," OR "If you ask me one more time, __________." Think of a punishment you will actually do! You can't make an empty threat here. If you don't have the energy to see it through, then just say yes. My older kids will often comment on how their younger sister gets a ton of stuff or privileges. If I'm tired and don't have the energy to win a battle, it's much better to JUST SAY YES the first time. That way, when I say NO on something, it carries more weight. So I explain to the older kids that they've already run me ragged and I no longer have the patience or st

Notes for my sister